Tag Archives: Aerools

Our Near Future

Back in 2012, I published a book about a green totalitarianism called Gaiastan. We seem to be racing towards my dystopian vision of cashless society and vaccination micro-shipping! (cue eerie music)

Upon advancing to the front of the line, the Hegeltown folk would swipe their right wrist across the conch device and a microscopic radio frequency identifier confirmed their identity. No one was permitted to buy or sell anything unless they had the RFID marker, which was implanted during vaccinations at the age of two. Once identity was confirmed, the townsfolk would present their wares, and produce which was then loaded into adjacent boxcars and placed into various compartments. The quantities and values of said items were then spoken into the conch device by the officials seated at the officiating tables. The undermen were then directed to another set of tables located towards the back of the train. Only after receiving his/her weekly vaccination could the undermen then receive their sixty-pound blocks of tofu and bags of freeze dried, simulated soy milk. Whatever was not redeemed by the townsfolk in the form of physical goods was left on balance in each of their bank accounts, to be depleted incrementally by daily carbon taxes. Behold: sustainability! –From Gaiastan, Chapter 10

Gaiastan, which is largely written from the perspective of the elites, predicted their disdain for the “deplorables” and lamented how difficult it is to fool them.

…The dimwitted undermen, who may have been barely one notch above chimpanzee  having been intentionally and systematically dumbed down with jingoism, religiosity, distraction, violent sports, inane celebrity, toxic vaccines, and slow starvation, remained stubbornly and acutely attuned to the wavelength of human authenticity. –From Gaiastan, Chapter 3

It also predicts the use of aerosols, proposed by deranged megalomaniacs like Bill Gates, as a means of reversing global warming.

Aerosols! Aerosols! They were the great savior of mankind! Once considered an evil pollutant, the microscopic specs of sulfurous soot found broad scientific acceptance. Aerosols were the antidote to global warming which had elevated earth’s mean temperature a whopping .8 degrees in the shockingly rapid time span of 300 years.

Aerosols! Aerosols! They saved mankind from the catastrophe of a global winter foreshortened by 8 days. Upon the arrangement of scientific consensus, national directives were issued, public works projects were launched, scientistic bureaucrats were deployed, methanol powered bulldozers were ignited. Financial alchemists were tasked with designing new instruments and derivatives to turn reality into abstraction. Trading exchanges began listing Aerosol Debit Derivatives… symbol: ADD. The economy was completely rearranged in a more enlightened, earth-friendly, sustainable manner.

And the amounts of particulates pumped into the atmosphere by kilometer high smokestacks held aloft by zeppelins rose and rose and rose. The aerosols filled the stratosphere where they reflected the sun’s infra red light that had fueled the pernicious, relentless advance of global warming that threatened to raise sea levels a catastrophic 8 centimeters. It took far less time to reverse the ravages of a degree of warming than the Thirty Year Plan computer model predicted. Almost immediately, the apocalyptic global warming began to reverse.

Pollution was, paradoxically, the State’s brilliant solution to the ravages of pollution. There are no limits to theory so long as it can be formulated via the insight of circular reasoning. It takes an Ivy League degree and an Ivy League ethos to find such grand applications for circular logic.

And as the coal ash aerosols increasingly obscured the sun’s rays, Gaia was finally cooled…

And cooled…

And cooled… –From Gaiastan, Chapter 3